How to Gain Confidence in Your Writing (and in Yourself)
- Jenna Moreci
- Mar 24
- 5 min read
HelloOoOo everybody!
Do you feel like shit about your writing? Do you feel like shit about yourself, period? What if I told you there once was a time when I felt exactly like you? Hard to believe, isn't it? After all, I'm so confident, self-assured, and impeccably dressed.
But it's true. I, too, struggled with confidence, both as a writer and as a mere cyborg. But I overcame my insecurities, and now I'm here to tell you how to do the same thing. Here are my tips for gaining confidence in yourself, both as a writer and as a regular old human being.
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Number 1: Fake It Till You Make It
Anytime I say this, some idiot gets their panties all wadded up. “You want us to be fake?”
It's temporary, okay? Confidence is not something you learn overnight. It's something you nurture and develop. Additionally, if you're especially insecure, you may have to go as far as to train your mind to think confidently. One of the ways to do this is to behave or speak confidently, even when you're not feeling it. This means when you walk into a room, don't cower or curl your shoulders. Stand tall, carry yourself with purpose. Pretend the path ahead of you is a runway. Do the murder walk! That also means if someone asks you about your book, you gotta talk about it like you actually believe in it.
I know this might sound like you're just covering your ass to impress people, but that is not the point of this exercise at all. When you behave confidently, people treat you differently. They treat you better, they wanna be around you more, they value your presence, and surprise! They respect you. In this respect, paired with repetitive behavior, it will train your brain to think confidently.
Look, if you're not ready to murder-walk into a room, start with baby steps. Every morning and every night, look into the mirror and deliver three compliments about yourself. If you're trying to gain confidence in your writing, deliver three compliments while reading your work. If you do this honestly and consistently, you will notice a difference.
Number 2: Stop Comparing Yourself
I feel like this is so obvious, yet every day I receive at least ten messages where a writer is complaining about the fact that they will never be as good as some way-more-experienced and way-more-famous writer. Tell me, what exactly were you trying to accomplish by comparing yourself to Stephen King—a man who has been doing this for approximately one thousand years? Now you're depressed and too insecure to write. Great plan.
Here's an idea: next time you go to stack yourself up against some other author, maybe don't.
“But Jennaaa, it's not that easy.”
Except it really is. The next time JK Rowling's movie deals float into your head, shake that shit out of there. Do something to redirect your train of thought. I personally like to say, “Shut the fuck up!” out loud to myself. It took Cliff a while to get used to that…
It’s true that you can learn a lot by reading other novels, like how to expand your vocabulary or storytelling devices. But you gain nothing from comparing yourself to other authors with way more experience.
Number 3: Up the Positive Reinforcement
Are your friends pieces of shit who constantly rag on you for being a writer? Well, have I got a solution for you! Lose their numbers and never speak to them again.
“Whaaat? I can't do that.”
Why? They are literally making you miserable. Do you enjoy pain? There are underground clubs for that; they've got leather.
“But Jennaaa, then I'll have no friends.”
Sometimes it sucks to have no friends, but you know what sucks worse? Having a bunch of shitty friends. Make an effort to speak with other writers online, people who will actually motivate and inspire you, who genuinely believe in what you're doing.
And another great way to increase positive reinforcement is to create a Nice Things folder. A Nice Things folder, or whatever the fuck you decide to call it, is a thing I made back in college. I had an issue with insecurity. I was trying to up my confidence, and I made this super scientific discovery. When people compliment you, it makes you feel good. So I started taking screenshots of the extra special compliments I received and saving them. This is something I still do even to this day, and now my folder has subfolders. One for compliments about my channel, one for every book I've written. I even have a folder just dedicated to funny jokes. Anytime I feel like shit, I read through this folder, and it completely changes my mindset. We don’t always remember the nice things people say about us, so save it. It’s a no-brainer. That way, you can utilize the positive feedback when you need it most.
Number 4: Find Your On Switch
I'm gonna get this out of the way before any of you get the wrong idea. Confidence is something you work at. Writing is something you work at. That said, paying attention to the way your mind works and certain impulses that stimulate your emotions is only gonna help the matter, right? We all have things that make us feel good, and more specifically, things that make us feel good about ourselves. Provided it's not hurting you or anyone else, find that thing and milk the shit out of it.
For me, it's music. I'm not an especially sensitive person, but when I listen to music, all of my emotions are engaged, and specific songs engage specific emotions. There are songs that make me feel incredibly powerful. There are songs that inspire me to write. And there are songs that make me feel really, really confident. Drag queens are like the key to confidence, just saying.
Music might not be your thing. So find out what your thing is. Maybe it's exercise. Maybe it's looking at art. I don't know, and I don't care. Pay attention to the way different stimuli affect you and surround yourself with stuff that makes you feel good.
Number 5: Practice
The most effective way to gain self-confidence is to trust in your capabilities. And the best way to develop that self-trust is to actually practice the thing you're trying to accomplish so you can get good at it. If you didn't catch that, I'm talking about writing. A lot of writers tell me they feel really crappy about their skill level. So their solution is to stop writing. How's that working for you? Are you feeling better about yourself? I'm gonna wager no.
The sad truth is there's no such thing as perfect confidence. We all get down on ourselves. But even amid the crap, truly confident writers are confident because they trust their skill. You can only get to that point if you put in the work, if you aspire toward growing, learning, and expanding your craft. There is no point at which you should stop trying to be better because perfection isn't a thing. And just seeing the strides you've made and how far you've come will do wonders for your confidence.
So that's all I've got for you today!
There you have it. Those are my five tips for gaining confidence in yourself and in your writing. It's totally doable. It's just a big old bitch.
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