My Worst Reading Pet Peeves

HelloOoOo everybody!

Today I'm talking about the little things I read in books that make me go completely insane. Obviously, I'm a writer but I'm also a reader, and while plenty of readers have valid critiques of what they read, some of those critiques are less valid and a little bit niche. That's what I'm talking about today. I'm breaking down the little things that make me immediately feel not great about a book. These may seem minor to some readers, but to me, they are glaring and sometimes they're deal breakers. It's gonna be a one-star read from me.

Disclaimer: These are my opinions and I reserve the right to change my mind. Also, these are not writing rules. They're just my personal preferences.

Sometimes I'll share shit that I don't like in fiction and people will be like, “You’re controlling my creativity!” Bitch, I am not the book police. Write whatever the hell you want. I probably just won't read it. Anywho here's the super specific shit that I don't like, maybe you agree with it, maybe you don't. Let me know in the comments below. I'm pretty sure there will be a couple of rants like usual.

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This video is sponsored by Skillshare. As always, all opinions are my own.

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Number 1: Characters With Bad Style

I'm not pretending to be a fashionista. It's just if you're trying to wow readers by having your characters dress super hot, at the very least do some research. Because no matter the genre, the character's outfit will make or break my reading experience. I'm not joking, bitch!

To be clear, I don't mind if the characters dress like crap because they dress like crap. It's when the characters are trying to pass off offensively bad style as being sexy or desirable. Here are a few examples from books that I've read.

• A multi-millionaire heiress who wears a bedazzled denim mini skirt, paired with an Ed Hardy tank top. And don't forget about those slouchy round-toed boots.

• Or the shifter prince, who's a pale white boy, with long stringy black hair, thick black eyeliner, a pinstriped suit, and of course spiked jewelry.

If these books came out in 2004, I'd understand, it's a reflection of the time. But nope, they came out within the last decade. The authors just haven't seen the light of day in thirty years and they didn't know Brett Michaels and Good Charlotte were no longer relevant. As authors, our biases come forth. So sometimes if the author is out of touch, the characters are also out of touch. This is okay, except when you're trying to convince readers that the characters are attractive when actually they're tacky. Now I can't take this character seriously, because they're walking around like they're hot shit when really, they're dressed like a Floridian Karen. This is 100% me being a judgmental piece of shit, but I'm okay with that. Plus, I know other readers who feel the same way, so we can be judgmental pieces of shit together.

Number 2: Small Towns

It's not the existence of small towns in fiction, I've read plenty of books that take place in small towns, and I will continue to read plenty of books that take place in small towns. It's the romanticization of small towns. Particularly small towns in the United States.

She escapes the big city life to a small town, where everybody knows your name, and by golly does she live happily ever after. Now I don't live in a small town, so I'm obviously biased. But when I've been to small towns, particularly small towns in rural areas in the good old United States, which tends to be the vibe in these books, there have been a few commonalities.

One, everyone knows everyone's name because they're bored, mean, and gossiping about each other. Two, the nicest restaurant is going to be an Applebee’s or a Sizzler, or if you're lucky The Cheesecake Factory. And three, there's absolutely nothing to do. The most exciting place to go is Walmart, and that makes me sad.

So when I read about a woman who is bogged down in her high-powered marketing career in the city, she escapes to a small town, so she can eat pie at a diner and line dance at the local bar, it’s not giving growth. It's giving Hallmark movie magic. It's giving, “Let's keep the spirit of Christmas alive all year long.” It's giving, damn girl, you really burnt out and found a haven in a Cracker Barrel? That’s a new low.

Small towns are lovely I assume—in theory. But unless it's Schitt’s Creek, I'm gonna struggle to assume it's the utopia the writers are trying to paint it to be.

Number 3: Characters Who Don’t Like Animals

If they're a side character, whatever, they don't matter. If they're the villain, perfect, now I hate them even more! But if we're looking at the main character, or the love interest, or anyone I'm supposed to root for, you have completely turned me off. There is no recovery from this. I read a romance where the ship bonded over their mutual distaste for animals because, “Oh my gosh, they're so dirty!” Guess what I rated that romance? Two stars. The romance itself sucked, but that detail really pushed me over the edge.

I read another book where the main character was deathly afraid of dogs, and look, that's valid. But you can fear something without being cruel toward it. Especially when it's not a chainsaw or a serial killer, but instead it's an innocent, sentient creature. She learns to accept dogs by the end of the book, but I couldn't get over how shitty she was toward them at the beginning.

And then there was another book where a woman went on a massive rant about how much she hated cats. Look, I'm admittedly a dog person, but I don't dislike cats. I think animals in general are lovely. So I was immediately turned off by this character who took time out of the story just to complain about how much she hates this animal that is literally defenseless compared to her. It’s just gross.

Humans have destroyed and abused so many animals. So when they talk shit about them I'm like, “Bitch, humans are the problem here!” I can't get behind a person who doesn't respect animals in real life, so why am I gonna support one in fiction?

Number 4: Unrealistic Text Messages

Nowadays text messages are prevalent in contemporary fiction, and honestly, I love it. What I don't love is the lack of realism regarding these texts. They swing toward one of two extremes. The first is perfect grammar, perfect punctuation, perfect capitalization. Because that's how all of us text, right? We never misspell anything! We never omit commas or use emojis. In this situation, it's clear that the author is just being grammatically correct because it's a habit of fiction. But these are text messages, buddy! Lean into the casualness. But honestly, I can handle these types of texts. They’re not my favorite, but I can make ‘em work.

It's when they go the opposite direction into 2001 AOL Instant Message Speak that gives me the ick. They write the letter “U” instead of the word “you.” Or “C U” instead of the words “see you.” They abbreviate everything, even though people stopped doing that twenty years ago! No one does this anymore. Maybe pre-teens do, I don't know, I'm an adult. But I read adult fiction, and when I see this in adult fiction, I tend to assume that the author is just trying to keep up with the youths while dating themselves in the process. Authors, if you're writing text messages, look at your own text messages and go with that. And if you're still writing “U R A QT” grow the fuck up.

Number 5: Magical Tattoos

Can we just make tattoos tattoos again? Do they have to be magical? At this rate where are the magical piercings and hair dye? I am all for tattoos in fiction but I enjoyed them more when they were just a means for self-expression. Adding magic to them honestly reminds me of the Care Bears. They got that cute little symbol on their tummy and magic shoots out of it. It's not sexy or captivating, it's cartoonish. Give your characters as many tattoos as you want, but give them cultural significance perhaps, or maybe it's just an aesthetic choice. I'm done with magic in the form of tribal ink borrowed from Indigenous cultures.

So that's all I've got for you today!

A huge thank you to Skillshare for sponsoring today's post. Skillshare is the largest online learning community for creatives with thousands of classes led by industry experts across film, illustration, design, freelance, and even writing. Skillshare can help you take your career, skills, hobbies, passions, or side hustles to the next level. And they have thousands of classes ranging from beginner level to advanced.

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*This post is sponsored by Skillshare. As always, all opinions are my own.

#tropetalk #CyborgQueen #JennaMoreci

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CHECK OUT THE SAVIOR'S SISTER:

AMAZON

AUDIBLE

B&N

Apple Books

Kobo

Google Play

Indigo

IndieBound

Other stores